Curse you, Neighbors!

Ah…neighbors…can’t avoid ’em, unless you live in the Arctic.

Don’t get me wrong: I’ve had nice neighbors growing up as a kid. Granted, they’ve come and gone over the years, but they’ve been respectful and friendly, always down to strike up a conversation over the hedge (erm, wall…we don’t have hedges in the neighborhood) on a weekend afternoon. I remember the retired couple who lived on my right…they were immigrants from Poland, and a few years ago, the wife passed away. She would always compliment my violin playing whenever I ran into her, having listened to me practice the day before or whenever. That was around 7 years ago, though…

But I digress. I’m hear to talk about another neighbor (or neighbors) who I am at the breaking point with. ‘Cause they are that fucking horrible.

A little background…

I am currently in college, and so I have the option of living on-campus, in the dorms. I have been in university housing since freshmen year, and for the most part, I enjoy the experience. I’ve gotten to know people on my floor, attended weekly floor meetings, made friends with the RAs, and all of that. It’s been pretty good.

But the people who live next door to my dorm room: OH. MY. GOD. Just…can you not? Can you not just shut up with your yelling and “bro”-ness every day, every night? Stop banging against the wall at 3 am when I’m trying to sleep, stop inviting other bros for Thursday football-viewing parties, and stop bringing ratchet girls into your room, into your bathroom, doing I-don’t-know-what-the hell. You’re obnoxious, and you know that.

Like, seriously, don’t you two boys have homework? Don’t you go to school like the rest of us college kids? Even during Finals last quarter, when the “22 hours of silence” policy was enforced, you still kept banging against the wall at 10 pm, when I was trying to sleep (I had to get up early the next day, so you weren’t helping me get shut-eye). I had to bang against the wall in return to shut you up.

I asked you politely to turn down your stupid music and shut your stupid mouths at least five times during the Fall quarter, and yeah, you stopped. For a day. Y’all were back to your antics real soon. Real fucking soon. I even reported you to our RA, who said that if you guys don’t respect the floor, you will go in the Housing’s record book for misconduct. I should talk to the RA again before the year ends, to remind her of your dumb asses.

While it’s true that you guys did tone it down a bit following Winter and Spring quarter, the moments which you were rowdy and obnoxious have gotten even worse. Although less frequent, they’re still a reminder for why I dislike you. Just this past week, me and my roommate were hosting a small-group meeting in our room, just three people. I was sitting on my bed, with my back to the wall connecting me and my roommates’ room to yours. All of a sudden, you just started going…ape-shit. I had no clue what you were doing, nor do I give a fuck, but suddenly, music came up and you guys just start going nuts. I could hear y’all chanting: “Turn it up louder…Louder…LOUDER!”

There was no way in hell that I would let you crazy motherfuckers turn that shit music any higher. I stormed out of the room, banged against your door, and waited, heart racing and hot-mad. One of y’all opened up, with a not-too-friendly “Yeah?” I told you, in an equally not-too-friendly tone, that I was having a meeting with some people and could you please turn down the volume. You gave me a weird look, and replied, “Yeah…” as you shut the door in my face. Before the door closed, I heard you say to your friends “God, emotional…”

Excuse me? Who was the emotional one in the situation? Y’all were screaming your heads off, while I kept quiet, seething with rage so hard that I was afraid that I would burn up in ashes if I didn’t tell you to shut the fuck up. You’re really ungrateful, you know that, right?

I remember one morning when I was coming back from doing laundry, I ran into one of you. You were coming back from something, gave me a small smile, and a “Hello.” I was caught by surprised, so I didn’t have time to reply back. I don’t think I would’ve wanted to, after all you and your roommate and your “lovely” friends (and girlfriends) have done. I’m sure you are a nice guy, but that doesn’t lessen the fact that you are disrespectful and inconsiderate of our housing environment. It’s a shared space, and you are violating it with your stupid partying almost every night. I swear, you better not be making noise during Finals Week.

I honestly can’t wait until I move out; y’all have caused way too much trouble for me, as well as my roommates. You haven’t learned your lesson, have you? God, I feel sorry for the people who have to bear with your shenanigans next year- that is, if you continue to live in the dorms. It’s been great, guys…NOT.

– The Finicky Cynic


One thought on “Curse you, Neighbors!

  1. Pingback: Things I Learned in College: Apartment Life (40-D Challenge, Day 10) | The Finicky Cynic

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