(Taken from my old blog site, here I discuss why I do not like Halloween. Part 6 of 14)
It’s the last day of October, and what better way to celebrate the beginning of the cold, autumn-winter season with Halloween?
As a child, I did not particularly enjoy Halloween. It wasn’t that I hated it; I just never understood why people would put all of that effort into costumes, decorating houses, and trick-or-treating. Specifically, I did not understand why people would go through all of that money for a single night of the year.
I remember during elementary school we were obligated to dress up and parade around the school grounds with our teachers and classmates. Instead of being fun, it was stressful: not only I did not have ideas for who I wanted to be, but also the trouble of buying the costume, which was probably going to be too small for me to wear for the next Halloween. My Tigger costume at age six definitely did not fit me at age seven. I was a growing kid, all right?!
Also, trick-or-treating has got to be one of the most inane things that I did as a kid. I like candy, but the fact that I had to go out at night to some stranger’s house to demand candy seemed like extortion. Weird as it sounds, I felt uncomfortable announcing “trick-or-treat” at the doorstep. Afterwards, I would come home and end up wasting 90 percent of the candy, because I didn’t even like most of them. I remember that I would only save the Reese’s cups, Kit-Kats, Twix, and Crunch bars, and throw away the rest (after, like, a month of being in the cabinet. Gross.).
One neighbor in particular once gave me a bag of popcorn. Unopened, not popped. I was, like,WTF?! Talk about laaame.
On the flip side, as I grew older and stopped trick-or-treating, I detested answering the door for trick-or-treaters. The worst part was that some came in packs, droves of tiny five-year-olds in princess and Batman costumes. It took forever to get them off the porch. Some were even rude, saying things like, “I don’t like that candy,” implying that I should give them some other brand. Sweetie, I spent 20 bucks on this generic, mass-produced junk. The fact that I used my own money to please your princess ass should mean something. So take the goddamn candy! Maybe this is why I am so bitter today…
I also remember some high schoolers “trick-or-treating.” They didn’t even dress up and demanded candy! Their smug, laughing faces as I tossed a Hershey square or candy corn into their school backpacks pissed me off so much. God, I hate children. By the 10th grade, I had locked the gates of my house and turned off all the lights to show that no one was welcomed. Too bad, kids.
Granted, one could see Halloween as a day for the community to come together and get acquainted with each other. One could see Halloween as a day for self-expression, donning fabulous and extravagant costumes to show off one’s artistic flair. One could view Halloween as a day for “free” candy, as well as a boon to our economy.
Yet, one could see Halloween as a fetishization of death, instilling the concept of murder and fear in people’s minds, as blatantly depicted in the numerous slasher-horror films that come out on this day. One could see Halloween as an opportunity to get drunk and vandalize the neighborhood, which is ironic considering that October is “Safety Awareness Month.” One could also view Halloween as a huge waste of money, for a single night of carousing in the dark.
Happy Halloween, or not.
– The Finicky Cynic