Lesbians and God

Story-time, folks.

…and just to preface this, there will be two stories in this post. Yes, two. What a treat, huh? 😛

Anyway, let’s begin:

Story One:

After having celebrated Finals with fatty sandwiches and sugary drinks, I headed over (or, more accurately, across the hall) to see two of my friends. We had agreed beforehand to meet up briefly and discuss our plans for our Spring Break trip to New Mexico (long story, but I’ll tell you that later in another post). And by *briefly* meeting up, it ended up being about an hour- whoops. 😛

In any case, we first discussed basic things, like how we were going to pack for the trip, head over to the airport, and find activities to do while there. Mind you, it will only be a three-day stay, so it is not like we will have a lot of time to do everything.

Somewhere during the conversation, we talked over checking out the restaurants and night-bars there. Being college students (and legal), we wanted to try out the local flavors and drinks in the area.

One of my friends (let’s call her Mary) brought up that, if we were to go to a bar, we had to be careful with possibly creepy dudes hitting on us. I assume she was telling us that from her personal experiences at bars and having men chatting her up. But what she told us next kind of bothered me, in the sense that she said if it were to happen, tell them that we are lesbians and they will back off.

Yup. Pull the lesbian card. While it’s a quick and effective way to turn down their sexual advances (and without explicitly telling them to fuck off), I think it’s a cop-out. And this is assuming that we are, in fact, not lesbians.

As you all might know, I am a girl who likes girls, although I can’t say one hundred percent that I am a lesbian (to a *very* small extent, I like guys, too). So the fact that Mary told us that and then laughed about it made me feel…uncomfortable. Because she, along with my other friend, don’t know about my sexuality. Her comment on lesbians didn’t necessarily offend me, but again, it was somewhat pertinent to me. It struck a chord in me, and I didn’t know how to react to that, except just to stay silent. Luckily, she didn’t suspect anything.

All I can hope is that, once we arrive in New Mexico, we won’t run into creepy guys that would make me have to pull out the lesbian card against my will. *crosses fingers*

Story Two:

So after I said goodnight to my two friends and headed back to my apartment, two of my roommates were in the room. Somehow, we struck up a conversation about religion, Christianity, and all. As I have mentioned in my previous posts, I live with three other girls, and all of them are Christian. I’m not. While that has never really been a issue between us, I still feel that there is this…barrier that prevents us from understanding each other’s beliefs.

In any case, I don’t really know what triggered us to start talking about religion. But basically, we had a discussion/debate about God, believing and not believing in Him. My roommates, of course, believe in God, and I do not.

You could say that I “challenged” them on the ideas of Christianity, about God sacrificing His only son, Jesus, in order to clear us from our sins. About how Adam had sinned by eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge and from that caused God to punish him, along with us, thousands of years later with natural disasters, sickness, mortality, and death. I asked my roommates why did God have to send His son, Jesus, down to die for us, especially since He loved Him? Why couldn’t God Himself come down for us- is He really that unattainable? Was there really no other way that He could save us from our sins, aside from having His son die for us? And why do we have to face God’s punishment for something that Adam had done years and years before we were even alive? We are taking the brunt of the misery for something that didn’t directly come from us, and we continue to wait for that “Judgment Day” to come to purge us of Adam’s sin, that is, if that day were to come at all.

Really, I’m just not convinced. There are holes in religion, and we can’t justify everything. This is not to say my secular beliefs on life aren’t flawed- they are. My roommates probably weren’t entirely convinced with my justifications as to why I don’t believe in God, although they do accept the fact that I am not Christian. I admit my beliefs on life being about the individual, that is, that our decisions, experiences, and responsibilities are all on us, both the good and the bad, might not be perfect, but that is what I believe in.

One thing, though, that resonated in me, was the question that one of my roommates had brought up:

“If God loves you, why would you choose not to love Him back?”

Not to say that her question convinced me to believe in Him, but I’m all about reciprocation. You know, giving back to those who did good to you. But my issue with loving God is that he isn’t material, not of flesh and bone. How can I love Him if I don’t see or know about Him?

So those were my thoughts on Christianity. It was funny, because we ended up talking for two straight hours on that topic. But I greatly enjoyed it, thinking a lot, and learning more about my roommates’ perspectives on God and life. Even though both of us still weren’t convinced on our beliefs at the end of the day (literally), we got out of it a better understanding of each other. We bonded, and that’s good thing.

This post is going on way too long for my taste. But last night really stuck with me, those two events that happened to me.

If you have any thoughts about either one, or both, of these stories, I would be interested in seeing what they are. Feel free to comment and start a conversation.

Otherwise, have a good day. 🙂

– The Finicky Cynic


5 thoughts on “Lesbians and God

  1. (1) I wonder if your friends would’ve thought twice about their “lesbian card” thoughts if they were aware of your sexuality. I would’ve certainly thought twice about that if I were in their shoes. Their even broaching the “card” subject makes them appear not as open-minded and accepting as they think they may be or as you would hope they’d be. If a creepy guy does come a-courting during your break, try to steer your friends away from the “lesbian card;” lead the stance of your and your friends and respectfully tell him, “Thank you, but we’d like to be by ourselves this evening.” Whatever happens, hope you all have a fun and safe vacation.

    (2) Religion (any religion) is always a touchy subject, isn’t it? From how you’ve recounted the story, your roommates sound as if either they are very sure about their belief in an almighty deity, or perhaps they may feel some question about what they’ve always believed. I myself was raised in a Baptist household, and though I still believe in a Higher Power (don’t worry, I’m not one to proselytize) I’ve thought of whether everything I was taught about God as a kid holds true. I mean, do thoughts of whether, say, God would shun someone who’s attracted to the same gender or who wears clothes that belong to the other gender hold true because it comes from God or because it comes from a middle-aged guy behind a pulpit wearing a flashy suit and a know-it-all attitude (and who interprets God through the prism of his own biases)? Good to see, though, that you and your roommates had a good, respectful talk about your religious beliefs (or lack thereof).

    1. Thank you for expressing your thoughts, Allison. While I don’t think that my friends are necessarily homophobic, I do think that there are other ways to turn down creepy guys at the bar (even if I might have to resort to telling them to fuck off).

      I was greatly interested in your personal experiences being raised Baptist, and it’s great that you distinguished between two concepts of God. It was a very stimulating discussion with my roommates, and I’m that it happened. 🙂

      Thanks once again for your thoughts!

      1. You’re welcome. I think it’s my eventual maturity that led me to my current interpretations of others’ interpretations of God, shall we say. I may be inspired to write a blog post about it sometime in the future.

  2. my20somethingsadventures

    i can’t stand when straight girls play the “lesbian card.” ugh. i feel your pain there.

    i grew up in a christian household, and I do believe in God, however I can’t stand getting into religious debates with people because I’m actually very ignorant about the bible. I’ve never read it. that may seem very silly considering i believe in God, but for some reason i’ve never wanted to read it. there’s a lot of things in the bible that i simply don’t understand. and growing up in church i always felt like christians were rubbing me the wrong way. a lot of them are preachy and act like they are actually God. and i find myself mad at God quite frequently. but i believe in God because i’ve experienced many moments in my life where i have felt him with me. so i can’t deny that. but all those questions that you asked your roommates i have asked myself and i simply don’t understand them. i might never understand. but i think it’s very normal for us to ask questions and be curious and have some doubts. it’s cool that you have the kind of relationship with your roommates where you can talk about stuff like that. 🙂

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

      Yes, I don’t like getting into religious debates with people either, because 1) I get nervous, even uncomfortable, arguing/challenging others; I feel like I might hurt their feelings if I’m not careful with how I phrase things, and 2) like you, I don’t really know a lot about the stories in the Bible (with the exception of the big ones, like Noah’s Ark and Genesis, but that’s my extent), and so I don’t have the right to argue against something that I don’t even know about.

      And although I’m reluctant to admit it, I am curious about religion. Not that I would convert to Christianity or anything, but I find it fascinating that so many people believe in something, even dedicating their lives to it. It’s just something that I had never grown up with, and so it’s really cool to learn more about where others come from. That is, I guess, a good way of making connections in this huge world we live in. 🙂

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