I’ve Been Thinking… (A Letter to My Crush, Part 14)

Hey, all!

It’s been a while since I wrote another “A Letter to My Crush” post, but here it is! Enjoy! 🙂

Can you believe…

…that it has been nearly two years already since I first met you? Back in June, we were going in for the same interview. The interview was interestingly structured, in that it involved a group of candidates collaborating on leadership-building exercises. Didn’t expect to run around the room and make stuff; I had dressed especially nice for the occasion, thinking that I would just be sitting and talking to the interviewers.

I remembered you were wearing jean shorts, appropriate for such a warm Friday afternoon. Before the interview, we waited outside of the room, in the hallway. You were talking to someone else, and I caught your name, as well as your year and major. I didn’t really talk to you, nor you did to me- I think we were a bit nervous about the interview.

Interview time came around, and we were let inside the conference room. Made name-tags and introduced ourselves briefly before launching into the interview process. Which again, we weren’t expecting to be so…active.

We had to pair up and introduce each other again, but this time find three things we had in common. People got up and milled around for a potential partner. I think you were relatively close by to where I was originally sitting; I think we made eye contact, and so I decided to head over to where you were stationed. Introduced ourselves again and, with the limited time constraint that we had, we racked our brains for things we had in common. We came up with the fact that both our names started with the same letter, and that we each had only one sister. For a while, we were stuck on a third common fact between us. I believe that we both liked the color green or something, but you wanted something more “original” than that.

“‘Cause I’m sure that everyone else will say that their favorite color is green,” you pointed out.

Time ran out, and I think we ended up using our favorite color as the last common fact. In any case, we moved on, finished the interview separately, and found out about a week later that we were both accepted into the leadership position.

Following year rolled around, and we would see each other in meetings and occasionally on campus. We would usually acknowledge each other with a smile and a wave, but that was about it. You were rather reserved, but nice enough. I didn’t really think anything else other than that.

That November, I was walking back from a doctor’s appointment nearby campus, and I saw you a bit ahead, walking in the same direction. I caught up to you, and we walked a bit of the distance back to campus. I asked you where you were coming from, and you said from work. I asked what kind of work, and you said just administrative stuff, taking phone calls and whatnot. Our conversation wasn’t too long, nor anything exciting, but in any case it was one of the few times that we met outside of club.

Fast-forward to the following year in October when we were organizing ourselves into different committees within the club. Basically, the members had free-range of which committee to join, depending on which interested them. I decided to join the administrative side of the organization, and apparently you thought the same, too. Rounded it out with another member, and everything was square.

Winter term came, and our club devoted on rainy Saturday to some team-building exercises in the obstacle/challenge course on campus. There was this twenty-foot high, tight-rope walking course that involved two people balancing each other as they made their way from one end of the rope to the other. You were my partner, and I was terrified. Not of you, but the fact that it was so high up and with the rainy weather conditions, the risk of falling (even though we had safety harnesses and everything). In any case, we made our way slowly across, me silently hyperventilating and you trying to assure me that it will be fine.

“Look at me, look at me,” you said; the challenge-course coordinators had instructed us to look at each other to keep balance on the ropes. I was afraid- I hated making eye contact, anyway. But I tried to, for the sake of getting across safely.

Brown against brown eyes- that’s what I remembered. Unfortunately, we had lost our footing just a foot away from the end; we held onto each other as they lowered us down (again, the coordinators said that it was safer if we “hugged” through the descent. Fair enough.). 😛

It was strange: after that day and in the weeks following at meetings, I felt differently towards you. Perhaps it was the proximity of being with you so high up there, away from the others, nothing but only us and the sound of the wind. I think you also started opening up a bit more, but maybe that’s just a speculation.

Last week, we had to come into the office to do some errands for the organization. Didn’t take too long (ten minutes tops) and we ended up hanging out in the office with the program assistant until close to the end of the hour, before we both had to leave for our classes. Talked about nothing in particular, and walked with you for a bit in the same direction outside. Again, nothing really exciting, but still got to talk to you outside of club. I guess that’s what made it memorable for me.

I caught you looking at me this past week during meeting; I was a few minutes late, and rushed into the conference room, out of breath. I was putting my stuff down, not really paying attention, when I saw you looking from the corner of your eye. Confused, I smiled to acknowledge you, and I think you gave a small smile back. I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret it.

Any case, our organization was scheduling some community service event a couple of weekends from then; not a lot of people expressed that they were able to go, but I was willing to, and you did as well. There is a possibility that if people end up dropping, then it might just be only two or three of us. But regardless, I’m sure that we’ll have fun; after all, we’ll be out and about in the city, enjoying the sights and sounds while also doing good to the community.

Again, two years…and I still don’t know what to make of this. Do you know…? Do you feel…?

For I’ve been thinking…that I…

…that I just want you.

Well, that’s the end for now, folks. Not very exciting, I know, but it’s just some thoughts that I have been having for a couple of weeks now. Thanks for getting through it- you are real troopers! 😛

See you soon for more posts! Take care. 🙂

– The Finicky Cynic


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