So, this tag has been floating around Youtube for a while now, and after having watched a few of them, I thought: why not transfer it over to blogging form here on WordPress?
It’s amazing to me that society is changing so quickly these days, especially when it comes to breaking heteronormativity and cis-genderism. Even though I have been a proponent of the LGBTQI cause since I was a teenager, I surprised myself by being ignorant to the other side of the self-identification spectrum, that is, with gender and its binaries.
Without further ado, I will answer these questions to the best of my ability, and see what I discover about myself. Let’s go! 😀
The Gender Tag Questions:
1. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you? I identify as female, but interesting enough, my thoughts on that term are different from me identifying myself as that. In other words, when I think of female, I think of “soft, feminine, motherly, able to have children,” etc. But I do not identify myself with some of those definitions, so it’s a tricky thing…
2. What pronouns honor you? “She,” “her.”
3. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. I wear a lot of plain or lightly-patterned shirts and long-sleeves…no crop-tops or anything. Jeans when I’m going out in public, pajamas at home. A simple zip-up jacket.
4. Talk about your choices with body hair. How do you style your hair? Do you have facial hair? What do you choose to shave, or choose not to shave? I keep my (head) hair down, except when I am exercising or after a bath. I do not have facial hair, and I choose to shave my armpits and legs only, either when I have a special event that requires me wearing a dress or when I feel that the hair is noticeable. Therefore, frequency of shaving ranges from every two weeks to every three months).
5. Talk about cosmetics. Do you choose to wear makeup? Do you paint your nails? What types of soaps and perfumes do you use if any? I do not wear makeup, but I sometimes use concealer to cover some acne and blemishes, if that counts? I don’t paint my nails, nor use perfume. I’m au naturel, baby. 😉
6. Have you experienced being misgendered? If so, how often? When I was younger, my mom had my hair cut short (i.e. cropped). And considering that I was a flat-chested adolescent (still am!), I was perceived as a boy. Doesn’t help that my voice is naturally low; I’ve been called “sir” on the telephone a good number of times… 😛
7. Do you experience dysphoria? How does that affect you? Not really…I guess perhaps when I make gestures (i.e. folding my arms under like a guy), or wearing sweatpants and tennis shoes. But those are extremely subtle, and I don’t find them problematic to my self.
8. Talk about children. Are you interested in having children? Would you want to carry a child if that were an option for you? Do you want to be the primary caretaker for any children you may have? I do not want children. Period.
9. Talk about money. Is it important to you to provide for a family financially if you choose to have one? Is it important to you that you earn more than any partner you may have? Do you prefer to pay for things like dates? Are you uncomfortable when others pay for you or offer to pay for you? I don’t intend to have a family, since I said that I don’t want children. But if I have a partner, I would like things to be equal between us. Ideal, I know, and that may never be the case, but striving for a diplomatic relationship in which we pay for our own things (with the occasional spotting each other, but eventually paying each other back) makes me more comfortable than having someone else look after me, which I find rather patronizing.
10. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender? While I do identify as female, as a girl, I feel like I’m not…”feminine/girly” enough? In the sense that I don’t wear any makeup, nor have much desire to. That I don’t invest in “cute” tops or fashionable item when I go shopping, that I would rather prefer looser, stretchy pants over tight jeans for public wear. Yes, I have felt like I was not “feminine” enough for society, but people don’t seem to care. They do recognize me as female, although they have remarked that my voice is quite low for a woman’s, whatever that’s supposed to mean. It’s complicated, and I think that we are meant to feel this throughout our lives- at least, until gender binaries are eradicated from the planet, which I don’t think is coming up anytime soon…
Wow. Didn’t expect that to be so complicate. Considering that I’ve self-identified as female/girl my entire life, the fact that society’s definition of “female,” as well as my understanding of it, are rather misaligned goes to show that there’s no clear-cut meaning behind “male” or “female.” No meaning whatsoever.
Still, though, we continue to choose between male and female, and I can see how it can make life less complicated (like, with toilets and dressing up and stuff) if there are some rules already in place of how it is to be “masculine” or “feminine” when it comes to one’s gender. But that’s getting into another territory of conflating identity with behavior, so I will stop here.
I encourage anyone who is interested on this idea of gender binaries to partake in this questionnaire. Feel free to let me know how it goes for you! Take care. 🙂
— The Finicky Cynic
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