Just a week or so ago, Anthea from The Bold and Bitchy did this “50 Questions” tag in which she answered a crap-ton of otherwise generic questions for the blogosphere to see.
But unlike the many other people who’ve done this “50 Questions” tag before, her answers were on-point. In other words, they were freakin’ HILARIOUS. Usually, others would answer with the mundane, “yes-no,” “white shirt” responses, which is boring otherwise, but not Anthea!
Now, I’ve only been following her recently since she just started her blog about a month ago. So far, though, I’ve been really enjoying her posts: sharp, acidic, and downright meta, they never cease to make me laugh, and I highly encourage you to check out her blog! Anthea, you’ll thank me for this #yourewelcome.
Although I don’t think I could ever get to her level of downright sarcasm and quick humor, I’m going to try anyway. Technically, she didn’t tag anyone to do this, but whatever, I’m taking this idea, all right? It’s a lazy kind of post day today, anyway. Plus, it’s been a while since I’ve been scathing and hypercritical on this blog- might as well as return to my roots. After all, I didn’t choose to name this blog The Finicky Cynic for nothing, right?
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Jacob’s wife from The Bible. Half kidding- my mom thought that it was beautiful name, so she gave it to me. I used to hate how it was so long when I was little, but now I’ve learned to love it, especially since it’s one of those kinda-common-but-not-really-common names.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
About three months ago. Embarrassing as it sounds, I was having a semi-existential crisis in front of my crush, who may or may not know that I like them. Whoops…
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It’s all right. I’m one of those people who continued writing cursive long after they stopped teaching it to us and kids just reverted to print writing (all of those torturous elementary school years for nothing!). But really, cursive is so good…it’s quicker than printing and makes you look fancy and shit when you jot down on Post-It notes.
Unfortunately though, with all the amount of typing I do nowadays, my penmanship has gone down the drain: I pick up a pencil and it takes me a good minute to navigate it correctly on paper. Just call me a sorry case of the millennial generation, will you?
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
I’ll have to agree with Anthea on this one and say turkey. Personally, ham is too thick and weird for my liking and I’m not a huge fan of chicken or roast beef. However, if there’s bacon involved, I’d go for a BLT anytime of the day.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Not at all. No intention as well (somewhere in the world right now, a patronizing misogynist is screaming his head off).
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I’d try, but might be put off by my resting bitch face.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Believe so- haven’t done anything to my mouth except braces and wisdom teeth removal.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Nope. Not interested in dying in the middle of living.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Reese’s Puffs. Anything Reese’s, really. Too bad they don’t exist in France (unless you go to a specialty store, where they’re sold for about $10 USD per pack. No thanks).
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No, ain’t no one got time for that! Same goes for putting them on when you’re running late for work.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Yes- with all of the crap I’ve faced over the years, even hurling a brick at me won’t even break me. #realtalk #strongindependentwomanwhodontneednoman
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Cookie dough. If anyone answers sorbet, then they’re fake as fuck.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
The face. Then the eyes. Then any other distinctive features (moles, birthmarks, wrinkles, large feet).
15. RED OR PINK?
Red. The color pink is an impostor trying to be something that it’s not (aka red).
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My productive-laziness. I know that I should actually exert my maximum potential on everything I do, but- eh- not want to do now… *slides off into Lazy Land
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Legit Chinese food. French people do not even comprehend the concept of “authentic Chinese food” unless it has a shit-ton of soy sauce and rice on it.
18. WHAT IS THE NUTRITION OR FITNESS STRATEGY THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?
Eating less sugar. I’m a sweet-tooth monster and the sight of Speculoos spread (for my Cali friends back home, that’s cookie butter to ya) makes me go crazy. My teeth are/will probably be paying the price in the next couple of years, which is a shame, because I haven’t had a cavity yet. #knockonwood #knockonteeth #notknockoutteeth
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Barefoot. Just the bare necessities.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Pasta. Canned vegetables. Runny eggs. My college cooking habits still continue to haunt me, even after I’ve been out of school for almost two years.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The ominous hum of my charger/adapter as I’m typing this post. The overseas electric-outlet living style is a struggle, people.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Shamrock green. Deep down, I’m probably Irish.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
New shoes…go ahead and judge me. But the smell of that new leather comforts me. Also smells like class and charm (sorry, PETA!).
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Kind of have phone-calling anxiety, more so when I need to speak in a foreign language almost 24/7 for work. Can’t recall the last properly conversation, but I guess it would have to be my friend from Paris in November.
25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Cali girl at heart, I go with beach house. Hate the idea of sand stuck between my toes, but I would much rather live there than get altitude sickness in the mountains.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Track and field. Gymnastics. Swimming. Team sports are too messy for me to get invested in.
27. HAIR COLOR?
Black with slight undertones of premature graying. No matter how many silver hairs I pull out, they come back with vengeance.
28. EYE COLOR?
Mahogany brown. Trying to be fancy, just because it’s boring to say “brown.” Anthea has a point, though: we treasure blue eyes too much, just because they’re a recessive genetic product. Like seriously, why is it that people can say that they have blue eyes and get so much attention for it? When it comes to brown eyes, we have to justify that it’s a certain “shade” of brown, like mahogany or burnt sienna or some shit like that. Screw blue eyes for making brown eyes the mud to its crystal-clear sky.
…but again, really: blue eyes are lovely.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
I do. Probably screwing up my eyes more so than they’re helping, but hey- they make my eyes look pretty.
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Pasta, of all sorts: it’s easy, it’s hearty, and it never judges you.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Scary movies can go fuck themselves, because they’ve fucked me over too many times to count. Happy endings, ftw.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Crazy, Stupid, Love on Netflix. Was re-watching it, actually, and just as funny as it was when I first saw it almost six years ago (it’s been that long?? Ryan Gosling’s abs are just ageless).
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black and white striped. ‘Cause I’m so French like that (partly-true stereotype, I’ve learned).
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Why can’t I have both? Summer for its long, eternal days and winter for its cold weather (doesn’t get too cold in Los Angeles, where I’m originally from). Can’t have them all, I guess- curse the season gods!
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs, as long as they’re mutually agreed upon.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Can’t choose. Current craving would be a tuxedo mousse cake, though. They’re too dark and sexy not to resist.
37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
I don’t mind both. But with the sub-minus temperatures where I’m living, strength training’s more convenient to do. Hope that I’m not already a potato once the frost melts in the spring.
38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
Computer. The age of the silver screen ceases to exist in my flat just because I don’t have one! Not going to fork over the money for it, either. Until I return home to my family, I remain ignorant to the important, pressing news in the world. #ignoranceisbliss
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Nothing, unfortunately. Ironically enough, blame the English major for making me read a bunch of old, archaic books written by white people. Some of which I hate, some of which were decent. I’m all “booked out,” if you get my idea.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Don’t have a mouse pad. No mouse, either. We can’t be having a fondue up all on this laptop, you know!
41. …IS MISSING! QUICK, A QUESTION…WHAT COLOR IS THE MOON?
People might say yellow or white, but let’s be honest, we can’t know for sure. Even those photos of the moon– away from and on it– can’t ever give a true representation of what color it really is. Call me crazy, but unless we set foot on the moon or ask the astronauts who’ve been up there, the color of the moon remains a mystery.
…and I just ruined your day. #yourewelcome
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
Silence. I don’t get paid enough to deal with students who NEVER. STOP. TALKING. Even funnier that I’m choosing to work towards this field. Go figure.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
The Beatles, but just because I listened to them growing up as a kid. I blame my 6th grade teacher, who was a Beatles-fanatic and made us learn the lyrics and perform them at the annual school talent show. So call it being scarred for life or just the Stockholm Syndrome, but the Beatles aren’t that bad. If you were to call them legendary, though, I would give you a second-over.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Hard to say…either Asia or Europe. With the Earth being round and shit, I can’t tell which continent is actually closer to my home on the West Coast. Mind fucked.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Working in short, intense spurts and producing a lot of work in that window of time. Good for productivity, but not necessarily for afterwards when I laze around and can’t bring myself to work again. Consistency is still a work in progress, people; I blame college for the procrastination culture.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Los Angeles. SoCal. City of Angels. Hollywood and wannabe actors. Who-knows-who culture. Networking. Fuck that shit.
…but really, I do like L.A. Just not the culture that comes with it.
47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
France (not Paris). It’s cool beans if it weren’t for the fact that bureaucracy has problems with organization and giving a shit about people, especially foreigners who are being paid to better your country’s English-teaching program.
48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
(in France): White and drab. Just like the French (but not all of them!).
49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
No car, currently (inconvenient public transport, ftw!).
50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?
It was all good. Lists make me happy, so why not?
…all right, Anthea. Hope that I didn’t upstage you too much. But let’s be honest, I wasn’t exerting my maximum potential, because of my productive-laziness. Again, #yourewelcome.
Anyone else who wants to take part in this is free to do so. Don’t be a plagiarist asshole and make sure you link it back to me (or Anthea) for credit. Plus, I do want to see the weird shit you write on yours, so bombs away!
— The Finicky Cynic
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